Because of all of the excitement last week, I blew right past a pretty important day of celebration in my little life. It was six years ago that I "went under the knife" and said, "good riddance" to my always-troubling colon. I never had much of a chance to reminisce and soak in all the mercy and faithfulness of my God, but I have been these past couple of days.
Guys, God has been incredibly good to me-with and without my colon.
I wrote a post last year for my five-year anniversary, and if you wish to learn more about my story I encourage you to read it below. While this may not be a much talked-about subject, it happens to more people than you would think. In this past year God has carried me through a journey of wholeness-to a place where I have learned to not only appreciate this physical being of mine, but to praise Him for it. To love it. To care for it. My God is a God who heals-Mind, body and soul. Hallelujah! All glory to God!
Life can flourish, and your body can heal... even if that means your poo will be a little bit different.
Originally posted May 18th, 2013:
This weekend I am reminiscing. Dreaming. Rejoicing. Soaking in His grace. Would you like to know why?
Tomorrow marks the 5 year anniversary of the day my life irreversibly changed forever. On May 19th, 2008 my five year relationship with Ulcerative Colitis officially ended and that lovely little colon of mine was headed for greener pastures… or something like that. For most, it is difficult to empathize with me on this because, well, you just don’t quite get all that this magnificent organ does. For others, like a few of my friends, you know all too well. To say that this is a relatively vital organ is pretty spot on. Is it needed to keep breathing and living? Absolutely not. Is the health and well-being of said organ important for your quality of life? Abso-freaking-lutely. I’m going to be extremely blunt and say that bleeding out of your butt and pooping 20-some times a day is no life. For anyone. I don’t care who you are. And don’t get me started on the pain. Aaaaanyways, I’m saving all that good stuff for the book I’m writing with my girl Katie one day.
This weekend I’m reminiscing on this event specifically.
Fear of the unknown is a b*#@%. But you know what I had? I had my Jesus. Who on earth is able to prepare for an 8 hour surgery that will leave them without an organ that cannot be put back in and NOT have fear? I’m pretty sure no one. THAT is why I can say with absolute confidence that HE is the only reason I made it through. His comfort came to me in this; “I saw the Lord always before me. Because He is at my right hand I will not be shaken. Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices; my body also will live in hope, because You will not abandon me to the grave, nor will You let Your holy one see decay. You have made known to me the paths of life; You will fill me with joy in Your presence.” (Acts 2:25-28). Sitting here, eyes closed, trying to remember the thoughts, the feelings, the words, I find my brow furrowed. The memory of those moments is painful. Then I remember… After more hours than promised in the pre-op room they finally came for me. As I was rolled away from my parents, and heading for those white doors, every ounce of me began to cry. I don’t mean I sobbed, I mean the tears that fell down my cheeks came from the deepest part of me. The little girl afraid to face this big life on her own. And as quickly as that loneliness came my Savior showed Himself along side me. I began to whisper His words from Acts and as each word came off my lips the tears dried up and I became strong- He made me strong.
I was in surgery for 8 hours. I PRAISE God for nurses. You women and men are angels. Each hand you hold and word you say is what carries us from our fear filled consciousness into a dreamless sleep and I think I can speak for others when I say that you are appreciated to the fullness of the word. I woke up to a very annoying man in the recovery room and an inability to move really, but all I knew was that the damn tube in my nose and down my throat was probably one of the worst things ever.
I really really woke up a couple of hours later, in my room, to my family. They were the strength I needed to face this day, and the joy and laughter I needed to face my new life. It wasn’t easy learning how to pass food with the new fandangled thing on my side but alas it would be removed a few short months after and life would continue.
The photos above are a testimony to God’s Sovereignty. The life laid before us will never go the way we planned. He is far too creative to let us live life the way we think we should. Why He chose for me to be unique in this way I won’t know until I see Him face to face but I pray, I plead, that He may be glorified in this. His faithfulness is… well, it’s the most beautiful thing we will ever see in this world. To see myself on that day, and to know that He went before me- to my wedding day, to the day I would find out I was pregnant, and to the days I have with the two best men I will ever know- fills me with more joy then I deserve to feel. Really truly…
how great is our God?
I am thankful. I am blessed. It is only because of Christ that I live.
Well, that’s a little of my story. I’m sure you’ll hear more or have already heard some. Just promise me something? Don’t ever take for granted your health. It is not promised to you. It is a gift and should be treated as such.